1. All babies really require is diapers, milk, an onesie and somewhere to sleep in. Bonus points if the onesie is the gender correct color, and if the place they are sleeping in is a crib. Anything else is just fancy.
2. Which brings me to my next topic…some days all you need to
do is keep them alive. Anything else like playgroups, craft projects, and additional
jobs or errands is just excessive and sometimes unnecessary. Samantha will not
know the difference between an elaborate Pinterest activity VS. a dollar store
toy.
3. A shower will one day be a luxury. Going to the bathroom
without anyone in the room will be a treat. And if you tiptoe to a quiet
destination to get some alone time…the child will for sure find you.
4. Yoga pants. All day. Every day. 0.01% of yoga actually being
done in said pants.
5. Suddenly your television lineup will go from Real Housewives
to the Madagascar movie on repeat.
7. Your child’s nap time will be your favorite part of the day.
You will sometimes remind yourself (out loud) “If I can just make it until
nap time…I can do anything…”
8. Catherine, do not underestimate the power of a 6-month-old
bowel movement. That poop punch will destroy your sense of happiness and will
burn your nose hairs. You will go through one whole packet of wipes and the
smell will still linger for days to come.
9. Laundry will suddenly become a full time job and will
require additional technique. Like spot treating a sweet potato mess or pre-rinsing
that blown out onesie. Thank heavens for Oxi clean and bleach.
10. You may think you know all the words to nursery rhymes...but
you don’t. You need to brush up on those so that you are not stuck singing the
wheels on the bus 1,542 times within the first month alone. Side note: Spice girls is not a suitable lullaby.
11. Don’t wear nice clothes the first 4 months of your baby’s life. It will get spit up, milk, snot, spit up, poop, spit up and tears on them.
12. You have no idea how much you can get done without getting a
full night of sleep. Remember those days where you pulled an all nighter, but
it wasn’t a big deal because you could take a nap the next day? That isn’t
going to happen again. You will go to the post office, the bank, the grocery
store, write a research paper, make dinner and go to play group all on 2 hours
of sleep.
13. Stop trying to keep that child clean while she discovers
food the first few times. (and every day for the next 6 months). Strip that kid
down to her diaper and let her go for it. And afterwards for easy cleaning, let
her run around in the backyard while spraying her with the hose. She’ll love
it.
14. Teething sucks and you will hate life for about 2 weeks.
Every. Single. tooth. Oragel will become
your best friend and you will do anything to save your sanity. This may mean
that you give your child a frozen carrot and let her go to town. Don’t think
about it. Just keep that kid happy.
15. Don’t laugh at those parents who put their children on a
leash. You will one day have a child who will run the other way every time you
leave the house. And don’t underestimate
her speed. She is fast!
17. You should know this, Catherine. The minute you become
pregnant you will be getting advice from a dog walker, 1,000 grandmas, the
man at the deli counter and every person who sees you. Take all the advice with a
smile on your face and the reminder that you will do it your way. There is not
ONE right way.
18. You don't think you have many breakables in your house until you have a toddler who finds anything and everything and will spill, break, or ruin everything you have.
19. Things that you didn't think would make a mess...will be messy.
20. Last of all…there will be bad days, but honey, there will be
good days, too. There will be tears, and screaming but there will be smiles and
giggles, too. Look for those moments and cherish them every chance you get. Try
and remind yourself in between the 4th load of laundry and the baby
food making that you will miss these days in the future. The moment your sweet
Samantha starts to discover boys and is developing a sense of independence you will beg to go
back to diapers and nursery rhymes. Try and not rush these moments. Toddler
tantrums, and all!
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