46 things I have said since moving to China

I read a blog recently that had a list of things that expats have thought while in China.
I made my own list of things I have said while in this magical place. Enjoy! 

1. Awesome! There's toilet paper in this stall! 
2. I swear, if I get pushed one more time... 
3. I really miss breakfast cereal. And Taco bell. And paying less than $10 for ice cream. 
4. The internet could not get any more slow. (one hour later) The internet has gotten more slow. 
5. I would die without my VPN. 
6. I am really going to miss bartering for everything when we move back to the states. 
7. We really scored on this taxi driver. There are seat belts, AND he kind of knows where he is going. 
8. Los Angeles is complaining of smog, again. Maybe I should send them a picture of our sky today. 

9. Burger King delivers?! Done!!!
10. I ordered Burger King 2 hours ago, where is it?
11. How do all the handicap people get around China with no ramps?!
12. Oh no...I only said Ni he thinks I speak Chinese.
13. If they opened a Target here i'd stay forever.  No, just kidding!
14. The weather is so beautiful today! The AQI is below 100!
15. We have a long weekend coming up. Where should we go?
16. Why is everyone leaving me this summer?
17. Can you bring me back something from the states? ....Beef Jerky.

18. Theres a kid peeing in the street.
19. Theres a taxi driver peeing in the bushes.
20. Why doesn't anyone use a toilet?
21. I'm thinking about smuggling my ayi back with me when we move home.
22. Do you think I can _______? Or will I get deported?
23. I can't believe the van man doesn't have the Lego Movie yet.
24. Where do you go for your foot massages?
25. I love wet markets.
26. I hate wet markets.
27. I just paid $20 for ground beef.
28. I have finally mastered the squatty potty.

29. Do you think this is a good fake?
30. Carl's Jr is the most amazing thing I have ever eaten.

31. Don't use the ranch dressing, that is for special occasions!
32. Whoa, theres an ambulance! I haven't seen one on the road for at least 2 months.
33. I feel like we should go to Puxi more often.
34. The people at the Kejiguan know my name now.

35. Don't touch my baby.
36. Milk here is expensive. I might just buy a cow.
37. We can't even watch netflix without it buffering at least once.
38. Crap, its 10:00. We missed the metro!
39. Where do I go for good Mexican food?
40. I took the subway today and was nice enough to let them scan my bag.
41. I scored a seat on the metro. This is the best day ever!

42. I couldn't live in Shanghai without Taobao.
43. There are four sheep heads on the street.

44. I need some comfort food that reminds me of home. Lets go to Fortune Cookie.
45. My taxi driver is spitting/clipping his nails/drinking tea/peeing on the road/screaming/picking his ear/taking me the wrong way/driving me crazy.
46. I am really gonna miss this place.


  1. hahaha what a trip! i wish we could go visit, hopefully we can make it happen.

  2. Oh my goodness, this is hilarious. A lot of this reminds me of Korea but this seems a bit more....unpleasant...
    Also, have you really mastered the "squatty potty"?-- you are BRAVE

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